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39 people found this review helpful
10 people found this review funny
3
Recommended
72.4 hrs last two weeks / 2,010.2 hrs on record (1,977.2 hrs at review time)
Posted: 16 Dec @ 1:59pm

I’m writing this review instead of clicking the 'Find Match' button, which probably tells you all you need to know about the current state of my mental health. I have nearly 2,000 hours in this game, and I've somehow spent 66 of those hours in the last two weeks alone. I don’t play Dota 2 because it’s fun; I play it because it's a crippling addiction disguised as a highly complex and deeply rewarding video game.

The complexity is the main selling point and the main reason you'll hate your life. This isn't a game you can just pick up. The tutorial is basically just a gentle suggestion to prepare for a lifetime of disappointment. You'll spend your first 100 hours thinking you're getting good, your next 500 realizing you know nothing, and the following 1,400 hours trying to convince your teammates to buy a simple Town Portal Scroll. Seriously, I could write an entire thesis on the existential dread that comes with seeing a key item on the ground for 15 minutes while your carry walks past it.

Despite all the soul-crcrushing toxicity, the constant balance changes, and the feeling that every loss is personally your fault, there is no greater rush in gaming than successfully executing a complicated team-fight play, especially when you are playing a hero nobody expected to work. It’s a beautifully designed, competitive, constantly evolving monster that will steal your time, ruin your sleep schedule, and give you high blood pressure. But hey, it's free, and all 120+ heroes are available right from the start, so at least your financial advisor can't complain. Just do yourself a favor: mute all chat and try to remember to blink before you're stunned.
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