🎬
(Cue classic Ryan George jingle. The EXECUTIVE sits in an early-2003s office with a giant CRT monitor. The WRITER bursts in wearing cargo pants, a green jacket, and pure optimism.)

EXECUTIVE (2003): So, you’ve got a video game for me?

WRITER: Yes sir, I do! It’s called Beyond Good & Evil!

EXECUTIVE: Sounds deep. Is it about philosophy?

WRITER: Kind of! It’s an action-adventure about journalism, government corruption, intergalactic conspiracies, photography, and pigs in Hawaiian shirts.

EXECUTIVE: …That’s a lot of genres, my guy.

WRITER: Oh yeah, it’s basically Zelda, Metal Gear, Pokémon Snap, and National Geographic rolled into one.

EXECUTIVE: Wow wow wow wow wow.

(A flash of blue lightning. A FUTURE WRITER from 2025 bursts through a wormhole, covered in nostalgia and steam sale stickers.)

FUTURE WRITER: Don’t listen to the Metacritic, this game’s a masterpiece!

EXECUTIVE: Wait, what year are you from?!

FUTURE WRITER: 2025! I came back to stop you from under-marketing it! You released it the same week as Prince of Persia: Sands of Time!

EXECUTIVE (2003): What’s wrong with that?

FUTURE WRITER: EVERYTHING. People missed it, and we’ve been emotionally repairing ourselves ever since!

(The lights flicker. A talisman glows. The Jackie Chan Adventures cast appears in a puff of chi magic.)

UNCLE: ONE MORE THING! You must not underestimate power of pig companion!

EXECUTIVE: Why is there an elderly man chanting in my office?

WRITER: That’s Uncle! He’s here to handle the game’s lore inconsistencies!

UNCLE: DARK FORCES OF DOMZ! WE MUST SEAL THEM WITH TALISMAN OF LIGHT!

JACKIE CHAN: Uncle, this isn’t a demon, it’s a Ubisoft release!

UNCLE: SAME THING!!

(Jade Chan appears next to Jade (BG&E) — two Jades side by side. The world trembles under double protagonist energy.)

JADE (BG&E): I’m Jade, investigative photojournalist fighting for truth!

JADE CHAN: I’m Jade, snarky magic-hunting teen!

BOTH: (Unison) We’re overqualified and underappreciated!

(They fist bump. Universe expands slightly.)

EXECUTIVE: So tell me about the game world.

WRITER: The planet Hillys! It’s a beautiful, oceanic sci-fi world full of alien architecture, floating markets, and music so good it transcends dimensions.

FUTURE WRITER: The soundtrack still slaps twenty years later!

(Cue ethereal acoustic guitar riff from Christophe Héral. Time freezes. Everyone nods in reverence.)

UNCLE (teary): Beautiful! Music so pure, no patch required!

📷 The Jades' Mission and Hak Foo's Symbolic Assault

EXECUTIVE: And who’s the pig guy?

WRITER: That’s Pey’j, Jade’s uncle figure. Mechanic, engineer, grumpy angel.

JACKIE: So, like my Uncle, but with more bacon jokes?

UNCLE: UNACCEPTABLE!

(Hak Foo enters dramatically through the main doorway, having used a portal instead of breaking the wall. He performs a perfect, non-contact spin kick that merely shifts the air around a ficus plant.)

HAK FOO: PHRASE ATTACK! “SNEAK FAILURE WITH STEALTH OF A THUNDERING RHINO!”

FUTURE WRITER: Yeah, the stealth section in the factory was kinda rough.

EXECUTIVE (2003): So what do players actually do?

WRITER: You sneak through alien facilities, take pictures of wildlife, expose conspiracies, and occasionally yeet guards into electric fences with a stick.

JADE CHAN: Ugh, sneaking is the worst. Why not just start a fight?

JADE (BG&E): Because we're journalists, not soldiers! We gather evidence. And besides, you can't sneak with a giant pig and huge, loud soldier following you, can you?

JADE CHAN: True. My crew usually consists of an acrobatic uncle, a magical grandpa, and shenanigans. Stealth is rarely an option.

JADE (BG&E): See? We’re all about strategic avoidance! Getting that perfect shot of the Alpha Section without them seeing you is the real win.

(Hak Foo dramatically points a perfectly manicured finger directly at the Executive's nose, stopping just short of contact.)

HAK FOO: PHRASE ATTACK! “EXPOSE TRUTH WITH BLOW OF PHOTOGRAPHIC REALISM!”

EXECUTIVE: Did he just... threaten me with an accurate photo?

WRITER: He's emphasizing the core mechanic, sir! The photo is your weapon!

JADE CHAN: If my camera had magic Chi, I’d be unstoppable.

JADE (BG&E): Mine has something better: financial incentives. Every picture of a rare Hillyian creature is cold, hard currency!

(Jade (BG&E) quickly snaps a picture of a wide-eyed Hak Foo.)

JADE (BG&E): $100 bonus. And I just documented a rare instance of dramatic finger-pointing!

JADE CHAN: Ooh, you get paid for that? Okay, your game is officially cooler.

UNCLE: ONE MORE THING! Camera strong, but plot of betrayal stronger!

⏳ The Sequel Saga

EXECUTIVE: So what’s the plot?

WRITER: The DomZ aliens are secretly kidnapping citizens, the government’s in on it, and the media’s been silenced.

EXECUTIVE: That sounds… kinda relevant?

FUTURE WRITER: Yeah, it’s aged like prophecy.

JADE (BG&E): I told everyone the truth matters!

JADE CHAN: And I told everyone demons suck!

UNCLE: BOTH TRUE!

EXECUTIVE: So, does it get a sequel?

(Awkward silence. Everyone stares at FUTURE WRITER.)

FUTURE WRITER: …We’ve been waiting for over twenty years.

EXECUTIVE: Twenty plus years?!

UNCLE: ONE MORE THING! Perhaps game trapped by curse of Development Hell! Must perform exorcism with patch notes!

HAK FOO: DESTROYS HOPE WITH PATIENCE PUNCH!

JADE (BG&E): I believe in them. Someday, they’ll finish it.

JADE CHAN: Wow, you’re an optimist.

JADE (BG&E): I’ve seen the stars. I can wait.

(Everyone gets quiet. Even Hak Foo looks emotional.)

EXECUTIVE: So, you’re saying this little underdog game will inspire people for decades?

WRITER: Exactly. It’ll teach players to see truth through art, courage through compassion, and that sometimes the real treasure is good photo composition.

FUTURE WRITER: And the fanbase will keep it alive — through re-releases, remasters, memes, and Steam sales at $2.49.

UNCLE: Cheap price for priceless heart!

JACKIE: Uncle’s right.

(Uncle beams proudly, then immediately scolds him.)

UNCLE: Of course Uncle right! ALWAYS RIGHT!

(Music swells. All characters stand heroically. Uncle chants to seal the nostalgia portal. Everyone gets sucked into a green vortex shaped like Jade’s camera lens.)

TITLE CARD:

BEYOND GOOD & EVIL (2003)
A game so pure it made time itself stop for a photo.