nuh uh this aint right

secretly a geriatrics patient

Gods! I hate Gauls. My Grandfather hates them too. Even before they put out his eyes. Did you think I’d be out here on the frontier without a good reason? Yes - Rome needs a strong frontier. No - Rome doesn’t need unwashed barbarians at her gates. So - that’s why I’m here, the leader of the Julii, to bring Roman order to stinking Gauls. Revenge. That’ll be good too. This war against he Gauls won’t last long. And when its done, I’ve got plans. This is all about power. Power in Rome. Going down that road means dealing with all my rivals. The Senate. The Greeks. Those Cartaginian elephant riders. The Scipii and the Brutii families too. After all, the man who controls Rome rules the world! And one day, I will be emperor…

says that he wipes once and there is no ♥♥♥♥ on the toilet paper? how is that possible?

Hello AurelianInvicta, sir. I am here as a messanger to inform you of your promotion to the rank of "Emperor" in LempereurNapoleon's Grande Armee. Sadly LempereurNapoleon has passed away due to unknown means so the council has decided to appoint you the next Emperor of France. Your council awaits you at Paris, please arrive before May 14th to begin the coronation.

e