There's a celebrity amoung us......................

NUKE DUKEM IS BRADLEY COOPER PAPER REPORTING LIVE FROM NEW ZEALAND WHERE WE GET THE SCOOP ON WHETHER NUKE DUKEM STILL REALLY IS, BRADLEY COOPER. WE'RE DOWN AT THE LOCAL BAKERY WHERE IT'S SAID THAT NUKE DUKEM BUYS HIS BREAD, NOW MASTER BAKER, CAN YOU TELL ME, HOW MUCH BREAD DOES MR COOPER EAT A WEEK?

WELL SPINE, WE CAN SAY MR DUKEM EATS ABOUT ROUGHLY 8 FULL LOAFS OF WHITE CIABATTA A DAY WHICH CAN EQUATE TO QUITE A SERIOUS OVERHAUL OF YEAST.

I SEE MASTER BAKER, I SEE. NOW, WE HAVE A DIETITIAN WITH US, CAN YOU TELL US PLEASE, WILL NUKE DUKEM SUFFER CHRONIC ANAL YEAST INFECTIONS FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?

IT APPEARS SO MS GRINDER, THE SMELL PERMEATING OFF HIM ON AN ALMOST 24 HOUR BASIS IS VERY WORRYING TO HEALTH SPECIALISTS AND WE'RE NOW WORKING AROUND THE CLOCK TO HELP KEEP MR DUKEMS ANUS YEAST FREE IN AN EMERGENCY WARD SET UP JUST FOR HIM BECAUSE HE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BRADLEY COOPER.

THANKS, THAT'S ALL FROM US HERE AT NEW ZEALAND SMALL TOWN BAKERY, BACK TO THE STUDIO.