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ABOUT preachers of shrekology

Shrekology is a system of beliefs, often characterised as a religion, in which Shrekologists believe in the divinity of Shrek. This belief system originates from the Shrek movie series, with it's first release dating back to 2001. The belief generally held by Shrekologists is that the Shrek movies are based upon real eye-witness accounts of Shrek.

Our Ogre,
Who art in His swamp,
hallowed be Thy onion;
Thy ogres come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in His swamp;
Give us this day our daily onion:
and forgive us our trespasses on others’ swamps
as we forgive those who trespass against our swamps,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from Farquaad.
Shrek is love,
Shrek is life.

FAQ

I suspect that someone I know is a Farquaad, what should I do?
All Farquaads are allergic to onions, so slip some onions into their food and/or drink, if their eyes go red and they start violently throwing up blood then they are a confirmed Farquaad and the onion poisoning should painfully terminate their lives within 15 minutes of consumption.

Shrek has not visited me yet, when will he?
We live in a world of evil, a world soaked to the bone with Farquaads, a world where Drek lurks in every corner and Charmings rule the land. Our Holy Ogrelord is constantly working 24/7 to fight off and defend his loyal followers from evil, so you’re just going to have to be more patient.

What/who is drek?
The Oxford Dictionary definition for ‘drek’ is ‘rubbish; trash’. But is also a name given to the blue Anti-Shrek. After the dark Lord Farquaad’s resurrection Farquaad needed to regain his lost followers, many of whom had fallen in love with Shrek’s powerful ogreness and became Brogres. In order to regain followers he devised a cunning plan to trick faithful Brogres into loving him and to create an ogre to rival Shrek’s power. Drek, the anti-Shrek was born, a cold colored reflection of Shrek, blue from head to toe.

What is a Brogre?
Brogres are a name given to members of the Church of Shrek.

Why do you worship Shrek as a god?
Because he is all loving and all powerful, Shrek is love, Shrek is life

What is the Book of Brogre that you keep referring to?
The Book of Brogre is made up of four books, The book of layers (creation), The book of Donkey, The book of Drek, and The Book of forthcoming. (these books have not been published yet but I hope to release a PDF sometime in the future)

My friend refuses to believe in Shrek, what should I do?
Shrek blessed us with the layers of freewill, so they’re free to believe what they want, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying, you just need to find a way of proving Shrek’s existence.

The Church of Shrek[brogre.com]

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gospel of shrek-19:12

1 May, 2016 - Bessie | 0 Comments

One day, Shadow the Hedgehog was sitting under a tree blowing Donkey who was taking a nap. Then, he saw someone on the path. It was Shrek the Ogre. Shadow then saw that he was holding a blunt.

Shadow softly said, "Shrek-Senpai..." He stood up and watched him walk away. He then ran towards him and said to himself, "You can't leave this place!"

He ran after him along the path. Shrek stopped and looked up at the sky. He then heard someone say, "Shrek-Senpai!" He turned around and saw Shadow panting for breath.

He said, "Bend Ogre"

Shadow yelled out, "Shrek-Senpai!" Shrek jumped. Shadow said, "What were you thinking about leaving?! You can't leave us!" His eyes began to fill with tears as he said, "Please Shrek, don't leave. I wouldn't know what to do without you. Shrek, I didn't mean to lie to you. I was only saying those things to protect Fiona and all of the others from dire peril."

Shrek looked at Shadow with a seductive look on his face as Shadow talked. Shadow continued, "You know I would never lie to you. You've been my senpai ever since we first met. Plz don't stay angry at me. I don't want to lose you like I lost my self respect." Shrek then began to smile. ♥♥♥ ran down on Shadow's cheeks as he said, "I don't want to lose you because you're my senpai. Because you're always by my side and because...because...I want your big meaty rod in my hedgehog arse. Give it to me shrek. Give me your green throbbing member.
Chapter 2Edit
I never lied Shrek by cmara
Shadow said, "Please let your seed inside me! When you went mad and hurt me, it broke my tight hedgehog ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. It's like a side of you that I've never seen before. I thought that I was never going to taste your sweet onion flavored ♥♥♥ again. But, throughout the years of my life, I never did anything to make you angry. I never lied, Shrek." He fell on his knees as he pleaded for the Ogrelord's mighty ♥♥♥♥, "I NEVER LIED!!! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME THAT I NEVER LIED!!!" He cried his eyes out. He yelled out, "Please forgive me, Shrek the Ogre!"

Chapter 3Edit
I forgive you lad by cmara

Shadow kept on crying softly. He then felt something wrap around his neck. It was Shrek's massive ogre ♥♥♥♥. Shrek lifted Shadow up with the throbbing mass and said, "Sorry if I seem ogrely aggressive, but this is mah swamp."

Shadow said, "I love you Shrek...I always have."

Shadow gasped and said softly, "Shrek-Senpai..." He then jumped on Shrek and hugged him, crying his eyes out. Shrek hugged him back and patted the back of his head. Shadow said between sobs, "Shrek, I always knew you would use me."

Shrek chuckled as he penetrated Shadow's tight butthole.

gospel of shrek - 80 :085

1 May, 2016 - h0pper | 2 Comments

It was a warm spring day at sardine academy, so warm that the smell of onion love floated through the air. Three SHREKS stood watching each other in the room behind the vending machine in the cafeteria. There was Nina SHREK, Bailey SHREK, and the Siamese SHREK. Nina comes to a realization.
"Patrick? John?" She whispers softly. They fused together they are now one. They must have been affected by the smell of the pungent onion love, made even more fragrant by the warm air. The Siamese SHREK looked like an average SHREK. The only difference was the two heads that hung from the neck, and the one extra arm that stuck out from the middle of his chest. Most importantly, though, were the two kumquats that the Siamese SHREK had. Nina SHREK had been eyeing them since he had walked in the room. Nina SHREKs mouth began to water when she saw the freckles on the right kumquat, the kumquat that had probably belonged to John. Bailey SHREK, though, felt uncomfortable. This had been her dream, to become SHREK, and she didn't want the other SHREKS interfering. Slowly she whispers, "This is my dream, this will be MY swamp." She pounces before the other SHREKS could say ogre. They were prepared, though.
Bailey was the newest SHREK, therefore the most inexperienced. Nina held her down while the Siamese SHREK started to shove it's two kumquats down the Bailey SHREK's throat. The Bailey SHREK could not handle the mighty ogre power and evaporated into pungent onion love gas which left a particularly pungent odor smell in the room. Nina's eyes started to burn because of the pungent onion love gas, it was then that she knew it was serious. There were only two SHREKS left now and Nina wanted it to be her swamp so badly. She gave it her all, she tackled the Siamese SHREK. She attempted to bite off both of the Siamese SHREK's kumquats. But her efforts were in vain. Things were getting heated between the Siamese SHREK and the Nina SHREK.
The Siamese SHREK dragged the Nina shrek to its game room. The Siamese SHREK slowly creaked open he doer to reveal his game room. When he opened his game room door and a bright blast happened. Everything was revealed now. There were piles and piles of leather shorts. Nina thre the Siamese SHREK on the ground and started woohooing him using a pair of leather as a whip. Things got so intense that the room was getting warmer and warmer. It soon got so hot that sardine academy started on fire. The intensity of the woohooing caused an explosion. Now there were no more SHREKS, or so we thought. Some say they saw a green creature crawling out of the rubble of sardine academy.

Part 2/56 cumin soon