♥♥♥♥ me with your cargo shorts you dirty ♥♥♥♥

so when i heard about jared fondle fogling some kids i thought wow he mustve accidently put his meat in the wrong subway bun because thats some scary ♥♥♥♥ mane, i cant imagine fogle doing this because he is such an american hero, he combated obesity with fresh ingredients, bread, and indian workers, the recipe for success obviously. it makes me think, did his life peak while he was a representative for subway? i think the answer is yes. instead of this situation scaring me, i find some morals to the story of life. now if you become fat (some of you have already taken this extra step good job) you should go and eat subway sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. that way when u lose all dem lbs. you will become rich guy #1 because subway will pay you to say that there bread makes you lose weight and since so many people are fatty fat fats, this will spike an economic downturn in all of other restaurant chains therefore allowing you to invest in them with you know, stocks and ♥♥♥♥. and then you should get really fat therefore ruining subway and now sell ur stocks n boom ur rich go buy a ferrari u fart smeller.