We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese.

Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon!
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba,
And the beauty that is Saskatoon!

Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur!
As he scraped and chiseled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister!

Oh, I wish I was in the land gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too!
No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me,
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew!

Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island,
And going on to bomb Ontario!
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture,
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario!

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it? (Crow: Yikes!)
Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of sh....