Worship only the Spaghetti God and the Vicsoggywaffle!

As we all know at the church of the Potter, Cody Potter one day found a great new land. This land was as we know it today North America. I'd like to share a story of how I met this great adventurer. I was doing my daily Native American ritual when all of a sudden a big vessel landed on the shore near my house. A large group of white men came marching from it along them was Cody Potter. I walked up to him, thinking he was a god of the sky to send us messages that we were doing right, as it turns out he was a god but not a god of the sky, a god of the spaghetti. As he waled twords me he said these exact words "Sup." I was shocked a god had just spoken to me. His dark eyes staired into mine I began talking to him which only seemed to anger him. I wanted to know of which god he was but everytime I went to talk to him he told me to either "Stfu" or that I talk too much. I wanted to please my god I did whatever I could. I asked him what I could do he told me to stop my yappin, I had only one more option to please my god before his leave. I had to please him. Somehow. I thought about it, the only option was to blow this great god. I bent over and started to suck his ♥♥♥♥, he seemed to enjoy it until I used my teeth you see its in my culture when sucking ♥♥♥♥ to use your teeth instead of your hand. However he didn't like this. At all. He let out a mighty roar I had no escape. He told me he would have to kill all of my tribe, but before sending them to great spaghetti bliss in the sky we would have a feast. He said to come back on the 27th he said if my oral skills improved he would spare my people I had to practice on anything I could. After 3 days of practicing I was ready to make this great god blow his baby gravy all over. I told him I was better he could tell I was too. I began this act of heterosexuality to no suprise he liked it even blowing his load multiple times I was so proud of myself. As he let out a mighty roar getting all of my people's attention he said "LET THERE BE SPAGHETTI". A bib saying "I got some shorts" flew down from the sky slowly landing on his neck it tied around by a holy light. His dad looked down and with a roar said "WHAT THE HELL YOU STILL DOIN DOWN THERE",with which he responeded "uhhhhhh spaghetti?" In an instance 21 plates of spaghetti flew down from the heavans slowly landing on our tables. I was so excited, I'd pleased him and get to eat his holy food. I was ready. It tasted of pure bliss the best damn spaghetti I ever had. Me and Cody spent years together. I showed him how to prepare corn and how to plant it after this though he looked at me and said "gtfo this is mine now". I looked at my god he must've been joking of course he was joking, but when I lauged he said "TITS OR GTFO" he was serious. I had to, I had to leave my god told me to I had to. He looked at me and said "I wonder if there's any good bladers around here?". I looked at him I had to tell him. I looked into his eyes I told him "hey I'm a pretty good blader". We battled and I lost it was a sad day he told me I could stay but only on a portion of the land. The white man has stolen my land. Thank all of the Potterians who listened to this story and to those of you who aren't know you're living under a false god. Cody Potter is the truth the only truth.
With love,
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