"Americans will respect your beliefs if you just keep them private. Keep it private." -Bill

"When you call us, ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, we do have your phone number, and if you say anything untoward, obscene, or anything like that, Fox security will then contact your local authorities, and you will be held accountable." -Bill O'Reilly, champion of free speech, protecting America from loose tongued infidels who prank call his radio station.



Bill chats with bff Steven Colbert
Bill copes with his anger appropriately
David Letterman chats with his #1 fan Bill