Your life or your lupins! I'm a very good shot and botanist who takes from the poor and gives to the rich. I want the usual things, a little place of my own, the right girl and all the lupins in the land.

I have my own theme song and everything, including a little choir that follows me around singing it. My horse Concorde is the fastest in the land, well one of the fastest, definitely in the top ten percentile of horses, on a good day. I mean, I could easily catch an errant bunch of lupins 7 times out of 10. On good ground.

My range of lupin clothing is hitting shops next fashion season and looks very smart. And my lupin based cat-food is environmentally friendly and highly palatable.

Don't play games with me if you're going to cheat. It's absolutely pointless and really is awful of you...

So thank you for reading my fine friends, just remember to lock up your lupins!