Recent reviews by Actual Cannibal Kasane Teto

If you'd like a PvE experience unlike any seen since the old PS2 Battlefront 1&2 days, you've come to the RIGHT place. This is it. The peak of FPS PvE Gameplay: HellDivers 2. With bugs, robots, more explosions than a Michael Bay film, drama that's so disgustingly and depressingly relatable to modern society, you may think: Gee, I think I already play this game in real life!

You don't.

But when you play this game, you feel spikes of dopamine and a rush more powerful the the rush of the Central Americans getting away from the conquistadors gunpowder!

When you are sipping your Liber-T, and smashing your keyboard, you'll be screaming your head off in frustration at how you just got turned into soup by your own buddies barrage call-in, only to laugh it off ass the ragdoll physics of the event make it all worthwhile.

This game united legions of players, the world over. We fought together, died together, and lastly, when the mega-super-duper-corps came knocking, they got to experience a taste of that unity come to life. Video games. Love em. This one is peak. We were all hoping this golden game would last longer. Now, hopefully, it will.

A friend got this game for me and challenged me to beat this, and if I could, he'd buy my Elden Ring. So, naturally, I streamed this game,(as I am a so totally-famous-streamer) however, I was almost instantly hooked on the game and spent my first 24 hrs in the game live like an absolute mad-lad.
I had heard it was an extremely unforgiving game. Well, to put my dense brain in perspective for you, I didn't read the ground message in the tutorial initially, and spent the better part of an hour whacking the tutorial boss with a broken sword hilt.
Well, I figured it out after a while.
Moving on, though, I spent a good amount of time figuring out what weapon I'd settle on. Well, I liked punching things, so I spent the first half of the game or more with the Cestus. I used the Cestus all the way up to the boss pair. The executioner guy, and the flying knight dude. That's when I switched to the demon titanite pole. That weapon lasted my the rest of the game, and I finished off the fire dude at the end with it.

Honestly. some of the best parts of the game to me, include:
-The fact that npcs had story effect that carried on throughout the game, Some NPC's SHOULD be killed, some SHOULDn't and you had to go with your gut.
-Also, New Londo Ruins was the most enjoyable part, dungeon-wise.
-There was a great grinding system built in that didn't make the game stat-stick and cheesy, and there required a level of skill to be had in order to succeed, (assuming you didn't discover a clever way of cheesing the boss to an untimely demise off of a cliff or something)
-The game SEVERELY rewarded players that explored the world. (I find this to be lacking with a lot of modern games)

Things I did NOT enjoy very much:
-My friend went mad(solaire)
-Giant Rabid Broccolis(because in Dark Souls, the greens eat you)
-Scary dark cave with skeleton aberrant Titans from AOT
-Mimics(REEEE)
-Those dudes in the cathedral with the bucklers that parry you a billion times, cuz GOD it was 50/50 fight to beat those guys. Until I got that Titanite rod, I was forced to go toe-to-toe with each one, and I had to get lucky. I've learned.
-Everytime I backstabbed an enemy with the Cestus, I was shoving my hand up undead's rears. Not super pleasant. (This includes those nasty poison ogres. YUCK!)


Anyhow, Towards the pathway up to the gargoyle bell, I got EXTREMELY pissed. and I was done. I turned on rage mode, cranked some badass music, and (unlike every other time before) I went ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on those dudes leading up to the roof. I turned into a scary creature. It was sooooo satisfying.

I'm a bit sad I didn't get to experience Dark Souls when its servers were online, but now, experiencing Elden Ring, I truly feel like I missed something amazing. I'm not really disappointed, but I understand why people love the Souls games so much. It really is a bonding experience between gamers. The ones that aren't sweating to murder each other for a quick teabag all the time, but the ones genuinely seeking the thrill of participating in another's game, whether it be through dueling, or working together to overcome a difficult challenge.
I would highly recommend this game to anyone who is up to a real gaming challenge.
10/10 Would Praise the Sun Again

This game is an absolute masterpiece and it was created entirely by Morphy. Thus, heart and soul have gone into the game, it's story, and it's design. It's highly polished, graphically.
Frames can get a bit choppy on big animations, but it's got a beautiful visage, and a sound track that fits it. It has a very calming vibe, which may be necessary due to the high amount of brain you'll be needing to solve some of the puzzles within.
It's relaxing and it makes you think outside the box.

But aside from that, it has a storyline that fits the gameplay/mechanics. It draws you in, and the characters provide immersive interaction with each other, and they are characters that you want to learn more about.

The mysteries at the end of the game beg to be solved.
Please play this game and support the creator.
10/10 finished 5/6th of this game in 7 hours while intoxicated. Best puzzle game of 2022.

Play this game all the way through. Solid endings. They definitely end in different ways then I would have guessed with some. 8/10