My ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can fit a car tire. If anyone actually reads this, keep in mind that an average ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of a human being can dilate between 2-4 centimeters. One car tire is roughly 500x200 cm. So yeah, fitting a car tire in my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is probably a world record and should deserve a Guinness book of world records entry. My first piece of advice if you think you can beat this record is don’t even try. My second piece of advice is (if the first piece of advice is ignored), start small and gradually move on to bigger things. Anal bleeding ruins many articles of clothing including but not limited to socks and shoes. Actually, while we’re on the topic of anal stretching and clothes being ruined, you should know once the anus is stretched beyond 8 cm, the sphincter is rendered useless.

If I had a penis I would tuck it up in between my legs. Then i would tape it and hot glue it and would wear a thong. I would then wear and wig and go ont the streets late at night, pretending to be a teenage hooker, and would offer my body to the first man I saw. It turns out that the man was a police officer and took me in. I was so nervous that when he asked me my name, I gave him a fake. Later in the evening, a female officer preformed a strip search on me. Everything was okay untill she found the cottage cheese. I had spread some cottage cheese over the tape to disguise the tape, and some of it had dripped down my left leg. When she came across the cottage cheese, she soon found the tape, and it was all over. Or at least i thought it was. She slowly pulled of the tape, a few chunks of congealed cottage cheese rolled to the floor, and the rest. Honey, the rest is history.