+rep

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+rep tactical playa

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+rep nice profile😉

today i attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe into my rectum because the local shops had run out of apricots. (i buy a lot). using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques amd a few hours i managed to finally get it inside. however it was too uncomfortable so i tried to ♥♥♥♥ it back out. this is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out, a half dozen apricots did. now there is a chance that i just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that i happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but i cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. i think i may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. further experimentation will be required but if this turns out to be true then i may be able to solve world hunger (once my rectum has recovered) lets end world hunger!

Quite frankly, the fact that our two ball sacks have merged into a single unit is very upsetting to me. approximately 100,000 years ago, when our neanderthal ancestors roamed the earth and lived in caves, they had no worry about their testicles clanging against one another. in their separate sacks, neanderthals had no worry of their testicles wrapping around themselves or accidentally hitting each other. Hell, it would have been pure bliss to be able to put one testicle down each pant leg, amiright guys? Just the other day I was playing with my dad, and as he crouched his naked body on top of mine, his singular ball sack could only lay on one of my eyes, but never both. Imagine the ecstacy of being able to put one testicle on each of my eyes -- as if I were at a spa hydrating my eye lids with my dear dads sweet ball nectar. But a man can only dream, I suppose.

Ｈｅｌｌｏ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　ａｄｍｉｎｉｓｔｒａｔｏｒ　ｏｆ　ＰｏｒｎＨｕｂ™　ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　 ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ　ｌｏｇｇｅｄ　ｉｎ　ｆｏｒ　２　m i n u t e s，　ｗｅ’ｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ　ｉｆ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　 ｉｓ　ｏｋａｙ　ａｎｄ　ｗｅ’ｖｅ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｙｏｕ　ａ　ｌｉｓｔ　ｏｆ　ｖｉｄｅｏｓ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｒｉｔｅ　 ｃａｔｅｇｏｒｙ　（Gay Porn）．　Ｓｅｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｏｏｎ!

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Mom's Visa" has been declinded, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse ♥♥♥♥♥ (12') $89.99
- 1x Ultra HD Backdoor ♥♥♥♥♥ 9 $12.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (Small) $24.45
- 5x Bananas $7.00
- 5x Cucumbers $4.00
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

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Wait... so, youre a girl?? AND a GAMER???? face turns red, ears leak blood and brain fluid HUMMINAH HUMMINAH ZIP ZANG WOOOOOWWW!!! ♥♥♥♥ so hard ♥♥♥♥ and balls shrivel and atrophy off WOOAAH MAMA!! fog hornAYE AYE AAAAYYEEEE!!! monkeys screeching I was, u- um.. wondering... grease stained sweatpants fill with anal leakage and blood c- c- could i perhaps, umm... sweats so intensely puddles start forming at my feet i mean, a fine dame like you... train whistle i- if you would... suffers a minor stroke may i, um, please... knees shake so hard it registers a 7 on the seismic magnitude scale have your.... veins bulge, skin turns pale gamertag??? total braindeath occurs, all vital signs cease, rots on the spot due to the amount of bacteria living on my body from never showering