If you havent joined already, there is a superior group that I was democratically elected to lead, called Mormon Judy and The Cow People. Please join and expand our National Socialist policies.

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real

Even among Tannerism’s finest lies traitors, those who conspire against the very ideals that fellow Tanneriites worldwide strive to uphold. Tristan Richmond, a sociopathic weak-minded ♥♥♥♥, is one such example of these so-called “traitors”. Born and raised in the birthplace of God Himself, he and his father forsook the teachings so many live by to this day. There treachery was not destined to last as Antonio, Lord Penetrator, saw through their guise and was beholden unto him the mind of a conspirator. Appalled by these hate crimes, Antonio filled these impure minds under the alias of one man, T. Glover. Within minutes, Tristan and father became world- renowned anal examiners, T. Glover Sr. going so far as to win the Golden Glove for “Most Rectums Examined in 10 Minutes or Less”. With an adamant desire to surpass his father and usurp his throne, Glover Jr. underwent multiple acts of Awe-Inspiring Mental Penetration to don the title, “Pencil Sharpener”. Do not let the heinous tale of The Glovers overwhelm you. Live on in the name of tanner and devote the rest of your life to solving the lifetime equation 100= ? and you shall never have to fear unsolved equations so long as you live. Keep your eyes about you, Acolytes; don’t let this hit you where the Equation Lord Split you.

Through otherworldly rituals and unspoken acts of gayness, Prophet Norris has bestowed upon Our Lord a gracious gift of a 14/15. The traitor, the growth of the church, the splitting of the atom, and now this... It all leads to one thing. The signs all converge upon one point in history, a "marker event". The gods decree that there will be a fiest held in the name of Tannerism where we will celebrate He Who Is God's exploits. His glory and valor must not go unnoticed for if we strive not to be like him, we will never BE him. Sutton teaches us that "studying" is no longer necessity but rather a means to an end; He proves through his sciences that Eeny Meany Miney Mo is the way to go, and we must hark or come up slow.

Attention all memebers of our Church,

It came to my attention that the word of Tanner is spreading throughout West Hills without the need of our further missionary efforts. I can claim 30+ new members outside of our inner circle. Tannerism has begun to be widely spoken of and I can report Mr. Norris has now heard the topic discussed in his class. Keep up the good work brothers. May Tanner bless you all.

Sincerely
the 1st Apposal of Tanner